December 30th - 26 to 19

Final day off of the year, since I'm working December 31st. Spent it doing Appletell work and some stuff around the house, including hanging up my Minnesota Wild Ave. sign above the kitchen door in the garage. Looks pretty good up there, right next to my Seahawks Fat Head that is now held up almost entirely by staples. I am nothing if not dedicated.

Sophie and I met Tieraney and a coworker for lunch (Sam was at day care, because I can't get anything done with the two kids are together). While at home, Sophie and I watch a few episodes of "Bean." She loves Mr. Bean, and that's okay by me, because I'll certainly take that over Barbie Three Musketeers or whatever the hell girls her age normally watch. Mr. Bean is funny, after all.

I also picked up New Super Mario Brothers Wii for me and Tieraney to play on New Year's Eve. It's become a tradition for our agoraphobic lives. We put the kids to bed and eat quality cheese and drink the liquor while playing video games until midnight. The game in the past has been Mario Party. This year, I've decided on a new Mario game.



There may come a time again where we will dump our kids with someone and go to a party, but two things will have to happen first:

1. Someone must be willing to spend New Year's Eve watching our kids.
2. Someone must be willing to invite us to a party.

Until that time, ringing in the new year with video games, my wife and cheese is about as perfect as New Year's can be.

I take knee (without incident this time).

My ball. 2nd and 12 on my own 32.

December 29th - 26 to 19

Gelert is found!

Tieraney spent the morning making calls and visiting pounds. I drove around with Sophie for a while before her annual doctor check-up. No luck. We're told that people who find huskies often don't turn them in, they keep them, and I find this oddly comforting. It's easier for me to deal with this under the belief that Gelert has been taken in by someone instead of lying dead on the road.

But then, come 5:00 or so, there's a knock on my garage door. I see a black pick up outside, and the whole way to the door, I'm thinking, "They have my dog." The guy at the door asks the question, "Do you know anyone with a white huskie?" I say, "Yeah, that's me." He laughs. "You're kidding. This is the first house I stopped at."

Here's the story. This fellow, Ernie, lives across the street from my sublet, right night to the Jehovah's Witness church, at which he's pointed a canon, perhaps oblivious to the symbolism. Big property with a pond in front of the house and a huge backyard / wooded area. Monday, Ernie and his wife heard howling all night long, which they believed to be a coyote (plausible, as Tieraney and I saw one in our back yard this year). When the howling was still going on Tuesday morning, they decided to check it out. Behind their shed, about 40 feet deep in the woods, they found Gelert. She'd wrapped her chain around a tree, and was stuck there.

Ernie and wife took Gelert back to their garage, gave her food and water, and eventually started their hunt, which quickly found me.

So, my dumbass dog spent around 15 hours--overnight in 15 degree weather and steady snowfall--in the woods (as Sophie would later say, "She must be very brave."). But now she's home, and is showing no ill effects of her adventure. In fact, when she got back inside, she took a quick drink, went outside to pee, then fell asleep under my computer desk for the rest of the night. We celebrated by shoving her in her crate and going out to dinner at Red Lobster. Welcome home, Gelert!

This is when Sam told me, "I told you she was at the neighbor's. I told you." And he had. He kept telling us that Gelert was at the neighbor's behind a red barn, barking. Great. Thanks for the help, Sam. If he'd said she was behind a shed, howling, maybe that wouldn't have been so useless.

And then the Wild lost to the fucking Ducks of Anaheim.

Life tries to go deep, we make the pick.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 34.

December 28th - 26 to 19

Never mind my Wild win (4-3 over the Kings in Los Angeles), my dog is gone.

I chained her up yesterday before going outside to shovel the snow. The kids were out front with me, then went to the backyard. About 20 to 30 minutes after first chaining up the dog, I went out back to check on the kids.

No dog. No chain. She somehow yanked it up out of the ground and made off. The kids said they never saw her back there, and figured I'd taken her inside. So, my dog is gone, and had a nearly half hour head start on me. Needless to say, I couldn't find her. Tried following her footprints and the chain track, but that disappeared when she reached Martin Road. Drove around the places she's been known to go when getting loose before, but nothing. I even dumped the kids with the neighbors so I could continue looking (no car seat for Sophie, and it was snowing pretty heavily), but an hour later, it was getting too dark to see anything.

I think she could survive the night despite the 15 degree temperature. She's a husky, after all, and she knows how to find the warm areas. There's also the chance someone took her in. But we live in a largely wooded area, so she could've ended up there, possibly got her chain stuck on something. Also possible she got hit. Things I don't want to think about. Tieraney posted a notice on Craig's List and is checking the pound. I'll be going out again with Sophie.

This is sad. Over the past few months, Gelert has been great. No more peeing problems. No more chewing and scratching at her cage. Things were going good, and now this. It's heartbreaking.



And that's Miracle in the Meadowlands style play. Botched snap. Somehow, Life ends up recovering a fumble. The crowd is stunned, and Life's still alive with seconds to go.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 41.

December 26th-27th - 26 to 19

Boy, my Seahawks suck. Two weeks ago, I mentioned on Facebook and on the forums that this is the worst Seahawks team in franchise history. People thought I was nuts. No one's disagreeing with me any more. That's a horrible product we keep putting out there. Go draft picks!

My hockey team, on the other hand, won again on Saturday night. I think we shook off a five game slump to the Blue by finally beating them 4-3 at home. The new Canadian got two of our goals. Guillaume Latendresse had two goals, including the game winner, for the lift. Lat has been one of those rare instances where he was underperforming on his original team, but is shining in his new surroundings. Nice to see that finally swing my way.



Even better, my team won the Turkey Bowl on Saturday. Actually, considering when we play it now, I should start referring to it as the Sausage Breakfast Casserole Bowl. Down 7-14 at one point, we moved Jack Jose to QB, and quickly saw a 35-14 swing. We called it at 35-21, and started a new two-possession game to end it. I had one TD and one fumble recovery, but never once played QB. My favorite play was when I got absolutely drilled by Steve Uhler, who hasn't played in about ten years (we had eight on eight, by the way...nice turnout). I shook a couple defenders on crossing pattern and thought I had a TD, but turned to see Steve barreling down on me. Tried to stiff-arm him, but he blew right through it and slammed me down into the mud. It was awesome. For a moment, we were both 23 again. When I woke up on Sunday, though, I was closer to 48.

Worth it, though. Totally worth the pain.

And because of the game, I got to miss 3/4 of the Patterson family Christmas party. Bonus! I hung out with former Shattered Image band members Steve Johnson (drums) and Jack Jose (keyboards/vocals) and the wives at BW3 Saturday evening before heading home. All in all, a good time.

Another run for eight, and that's the game. All that's left is to take a knee.

My ball. 1st and 10 on Life's 39.

December 25th - 26 to 19

Know what's a good Christmas? One where you don't have to go anywhere. We got up with the kids (we actually had to wake them up at around 8:00 a.m....we were tired of waiting for them, having already showered and all), opened gifts, cooked up the breakfast casserole (there are few meats I enjoy more than the ground sausage), and waited for our parents to arrive.

The kids seemed pleased with what they got. Tieraney was okay with her gifts. I was okay with mine. She got me this thing:



Sad thing about this is that they don't work in garages. I'm guessing it's the cold. The instructions do say that they're for indoor use only, but I figured that was a rain/sun thing, not a temperature thing. But it doesn't want to stick to my wall, so I'm periodically stapling it in place as it peels in new areas. Eventually, I figure it'll just stop. If not, that's either a lot of staples or a $90 gift down the drain.

Even in my garage, the Seahawks find a way to disappoint.

My parents were up first for a little bit, and Tieraney's parents pulled in right as mine were leaving. Most didn't eat the food Tieraney had prepared, so that means leftovers. And since I'm off my workout schedule until after the new year, that means weight gain.

But who cares? I'm married. I don't need to look good.

Run up the middle gains four.

My ball. 2nd and 6 on my Life's 47.

December 24th - 26 to 19

Good day at work, but you'll have that when you're there all alone. Got some solid work done, handled only a few calls, ate Chinese food. Nothing wrong with any of this.

Christmas eve service was fine. Out church has an odd habit of doing mini-plays or dramatic readings or something. Church members over the age of 55 reading from scripts. Angels talking to various people. Thing is, most of these people were teachers, so they sound like teachers reading to grade school kids. Not sure I get it. I'd rather we just sing for an hour straight, but it's all okay in the end when we do sing "Silent Night" by candlelight. It's beautiful. I mean, "Silent Night" is the second most beautiful song ever written. But there in church, everything is so quiet. It's peaceful. I means something, and I like that. It's why I don't care about the commercialism and the shopping crowds and the non-existant war on Christmas, because I get that moment on Christmas eve. Everything that people freak out about because they think we're losing the purpose of it all, it's all right there. I don't need it to be in airports or on TV, and I'm not sure why everyone else does, either.

So, I'll call it a successful night. Kids in bed by 9:00, me and Tieraney by 10:45 because we had nothing to put together. Merry Christmas, all of you who don't even know this blog exists. As Kermit the Frog once sang:

I don't know if you believe in Christmas
Or if you have presents underneath a Christmas tree
But if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
For you to come and celebrate with me

Incomplete pass. I take over on downs.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 49.

December 23rd - 26 to 19

Well, good. We got off the losing streak before it could become a streak, beating the Oilers 3-1 at home. Goals by Brunette and Nolan, and an empty netter at the end from Latendresse. Apparently, the Wild finished the game very strong. I haven't watched the highlights yet.

Never mind. Just did. I like hockey. Look at these two:



They're men, dammit. Fuck football.

Spilled coffee on my keyboard at work. New keyboard at work. Tieraney went to her company's holiday party yesterday afternoon and proceeded to win nothing. They gave away Wiis, PlayStations, widescreen TVs, but no. She got a $25 gift card to Regal Cinemas. I'll take that, sure, but shiny new TV would've been cool.

Incomplete pass.

Life's ball. 4th and 7 on my 49.

December 22nd - 26 to 19

Finally bought my wife's Christmas gifts yesterday. Took care of that in one trip, although I have an idea for another one that'll come later on. We'll see how she does with my gifts. As the Dead Milkmen once said, "There's a time for taking and there's a time for giving, but ripping off the Butthole Surfers is how I make my living."

That does nothing to solidify my point, but I'll blame the Milkmen for that.

Grocery shopping after worked to make sure we're ready for the guests come Christmas day. KFC for the supper. Wrestle with the kids for a while. (The chirrens love to be body slammed to the couch. What's the move where you pick your opponent up by the neck and slam him on his back? That's what I do.) Put them to bed. Exercise. Appletell featuring the aforementioned chirrens. Put myself to bed. Nothing exciting, but that's how you want to wind down the year, right?

Incomplete pass.

Life's ball. 3rd and 7 on my 49.

December 21st - 26 to 19

Another Wild loss last night. Down 1-4 at one point, they came back to make a game of it, but lost 3-4 in regulation. And did you know they lost their equipment in a fire? True. Happened on the Ottawa, I guess, where the equipment van caught fire. So, they were playing in rented equipment that night. Pads didn't fit and such. Weird.

Back to back losses kills any momentum we had. Sad. We outshot the Avalanche, but Backstrom continues his sucky ways. So it goes.

Got some business for the company yesterday. An old funiture retailer client of our went out of business a few years back. The guy I worked with now works at a new furniture retailer, and he brought us in. I made the pitch, and I got the gig. THIS is how I help the company. Do good work, and people will bring you back. Just ask my wife.

BOOM!

Run up to Christmas. I'm working, Tieraney's at home with the kids. She made the cookie style objects. I ate some.

QB can't find a man open downfield, but completes a pass to the sideline to stop the clock.

Life's ball. 2nd and 7 on my 49.

December 19th-20th - 26 to 19

The weekend started off solid. First, I did that thing to my wife on Saturday morning. You know that thing that men do to their wives? I did it. This is weird, because that has happened in about five years. Since the kids, spontaneous things haven't happened. But Saturday morning, while the kids were downstairs watching TV and Tieraney was on her way up to shower, I made a play. Her resistance was minimal. I started that thing. The resistance was over. Go team!

No thing for me, but where do you think I live now? Crazy town? Rather, we waited until that night and engaged in the full thing. Go team!

Between things, we saw that Avatar movie in the 3D. Much better than I expected, because if you told me a 3D hybrid of "Dances with Wolves" and "Gorillas in the Mist" would be anything more than pretty to look at, I would've told you to go to hell. And yet, there I was, thoroughly entertained. Perhaps it was the ballsy "war/corporations = bad, environment/property = good" message that generally doesn't fly in sci-fi/action movie. Perhaps it was the neon. Regardless, good time.

But then it all went to hell. My hockey team lost 1-4 in Ottawa, the 2009 Seahawks have officially become the worst Seahawks team in franchise history (record withstanding) with a loss to Tampa Bay at home, and I lost my franchise league playoff game.

And so, what looked like a sack ends up becoming a QB scramble for 12.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 48.

December 18th - 26 to 19

My wife wants me to find a new job. That sounds admirable, her putting my happiness ahead of family security. But I don't want her to find a new job when she reaches the point that I have. I want her to stick with the job that pays well and has dental. Her thing is that I'm too far from work (true) and that I come home sad too often because the negatives are starting to outweigh the positives in my current situation. Two years now without raise. No vacation time increase in seven years. Boss wants me to become a salesman.

Now, Boss has been exceptionally good to me. I like Boss. But the company has changed over the past two years and is becoming the exact opposite of why I took and enjoyed the job to begin with. It's been 11 years now...is this where I want to be for the rest of my life? I have to figure this out soon. If I decide no, then I have to decide what's next, because it won't be this. How does a guy with an English degree and 11 years of web design find solid work that pays the bills? I'm not sure it's possible, but if it's there, I'll find it.

Life picks up the first down on 4th and 2.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 36.

December 17th - 26-19

3-1 win in Montreal. Goals by Earl and Koivu in the first, and one by my boy Clutterbuck (that's right, I have a hockey boy) in the third to clinch it.



That's 9-2 in the last 11 games, still digging our way up out of the hole, which is an expression I've never understood. How do you dig your way out of something? I suppose maybe you dig a ramp? Regardless, we're in the western conference where all the power is this year, so we've still got a long way to go. It's nice to see this turnaround, though. Sure wish Seattle had the ability to do such a thing.

Life calls a timeout to plan their 4th down play. They've got one timeout left.

Life's ball. 4th and 2 on their own 32.

December 16th - 26-19

No raise again this year, which totally blows, but I guess that's what happens when your company hires too many people. My boss tells me we'll talk in January to see about developing a plan for the company to make more money so I can get a raise. It's fair and all, i suppose, but do you know what I'm not? A salesman. I don't sell anything, and I don't develop ways to make money.

That said, I do have a couple good ideas.

No raise = no defense, so Life picks up 12.

Life's ball. 4th and 2 on their own 32.

December 15th - 26-19

Stupid basketball. The Wild were supposed to be on last night, as they were playing Columbus at home. Rather, FSN shows me the Caballeros. The NBA used to interrupt my Benny Hill, now it interrupts my hockey. I have no time for the NBA. Only good thing that ever came of it was Kurtis Blow's rhyme: "Basketball is my favorite sport / I like the way they dribble up and down the court."

If a white dude had written that, he'd been laughed all the way out of Compton. But Kurtis knows how to sell it.

Anyway, time for the traditional victory photo:



Notice the missing pane of glass? It shattered! Thankfully, it was Tyutin's skate that knocked it out, not his head. I'm all for violence, but totally opposed to injury.

Did I mention that we won? We did. 2-1. Low shot affair. Half our shots were made in the first period. But Marek Zidlicky got the game winner with 40 seconds to go. The Wild are 8-2 in the last 10 games. Four other teams share that record, only one is better. Too bad we got off to such a horrible start, eh?

Came in second in the fantasy league. Playoffs are this weekend. I'd like to win, because I enjoy free Seahawks items. It'll be tough, though. I think I lucked into where I am now, riding on Drew Brees most of the way. I'll be losing his numbers, so it'll take plenty of creativity and luck to haul in a playoff win.

Incomplete pass.

Life's ball. 3rd and 14 on their own 20.

December 14th - 26-19

Bonus two came rolling down today. After taxes, Tieraney will clear around $1,700. You have to dig that, right? That pays for our cruise in June.

That'll carry the day, then, since not much else going on. I picked up both kids after work and went grocery shopping, which I only do because they have a children's area of sorts. Guess what. Closed! So I had to deal with both kids while shopping. Only it wasn't that bad, because the deli lady gave Sam some meat. The kid's already rocking the glasses to his benefit. I think glasses on little boys are like big boobs on 23-year-old women. He turned down the salami but took some ham and some cheese. Got some for Sophie, too. So, they ate while I picked up the fruit chews.

After supper, Tieraney and I caught up on the shows. And that'll be the end of the day.

QB scrambles for a four yard loss.

Life's ball. 2nd and 14 on their own 20.

December 12th-13th - 26-19

There was no Hiner Victory Weekend this weekend. The Seahawks were spanked in Houston; the type of spanking where if they weren't paying for it, then someone needs to go to jail. But who cares? It's December...who's even watching football at this point?

The Wild lost in Vancouver, too, but I'm not all that upset about that, either. We played Harding, and we always loose with Harding the net. We won three of five on this road trip, and I'll take that. Next up, the Blue Jackets visit us. If we lose that one, then I'll be upset.

So, here's the boy in glasses:



By Sunday, he'd resigned himself to his fate. He couldn't understand all day Saturday why he wasn't allowed to take them off, but he'd stopped complaining by Sunday. That's right, man, break the boy's spirit.

Aside from getting those on Saturday, we took the kids to see Santa Claus. Tieraney was getting tested for her own new pair of glasses, because, you know, we're millionaires, so I had the kids on my own when visiting Santa. It went pretty well, although Tieraney still complained about the photo because Sam's pants and shirt had been pulled up a bit. I'm a dude...is it my job to notice such things? No. I never will, and I'll make no effort at all to change that about myself.

Beyond all that, not a bad weekend. Lazy. They'll get quite busy quite soon, so I'll enjoy the lazy ones while I can.

Kickoff is returned to the 24.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 24.

December 11th - 26-19

The boy needs glasses. What is he, like, three? Do three-year-olds wear glasses? I'm 39 and I don't wear glasses? But he doesn't have a lazy eye, he's got this thing where his right eye pulls inside in an effort to focus...like Lofa Tatupu pulling in to compensate when Marcus Tubbs was injured, which led to many gaps and Tatupu constantly injuring himself. Unlike Ruskell, though, we're going to fill that gap with glasses. Doctor says he'll need them until he's 8 to 12 years old. I imagine it's for life.

I've got not issue with this, other than the expense and the fact that he'll be breaking them constantly.

Glasses. What's next? Robot eyes? That would actually be cool. I'll see if I can get that set up before we spend the cash on the glasses.

Oh, and my hockey team won. 46 shots on goal to Calgary's 23, and we still needed overtime to win 2-1. Hell of an offense, and the goal scorers were important. James Sheppard, who's been a severe disappointment of a top prospect, and Martin Havlat, who's been a severe disappointment of an off season trade. Hopefully, this gets both of them going.



Anyway, that's six points so far on a five game road trip. Nice.

Field goal is good, extending our lead to 7.

December 10th - 23-19

I'm going to just quit making entries on Thurdays when there's no hockey. Thursdays just happen; like turning left on the way to work. You know you did it. You can recall when they happen, but unless you hit a deer or see some drunken college woman peeing on the side of the road because the line to the Kings of Leon concert is longer than she expected, you really aren't going to remember a thing about them.

Measurement shows we're inches short.

My ball. 4th and inches on Life's 18.

December 9th - 23-19

Well, there you go. After being shut out in Phoenix, the Wild turned around got their first shutout of the season, beating Colorado 1-0. Obviously, the game was heavy on defense; only 22 shots for each team. This is the kind of win we expected last year with Lemaire coaching us. Ah, the good old days.



Got the Christmas bonus. $900. I guess the days of getting an entire paycheck for my bonus are long gone. That's what happens when you hire new people. We have to spread that amongst more people. It sucks, but what're gonna do? I appreciate what I get, as I never count on getting it (meaning I don't spend that money before I have it, of course). Hopefully, Tieraney gets a nice one, too. We won't know that until the end of the month, however.

And my piss is back to its normal color. I stopped taking the pills, and things seem good for now.

Wild win plus $900 equals a 12 yard pass play.

Refs are calling for the chains.

December 8th - 23-19

My piss is orange. And I don't mean a darker color than normal, I mean orange. Cleveland Browns orange. I'm pissing Tang.



The good news is that this was expected, as I warned by the medicine I'm taking. The bad news is that the medicine I'm taking is for what I believe to be a bladder infection. Spent all day feeling like I had to go to the bathroom, which is highly annoying. This is the second time this has happened to me in life, and better timed. The first time, I spent that day at Cedar Point. Roller coasters plus bladder infections are not a good mix.

So anyway, if this isn't gone by Wednesday, I'll call the doctor. Because even if you know it's coming, orange piss isn't the type of thing you want to see in the morning.

On the bright side of things, my dentist appointment yielded no cavities, so I'm still 100% cavity free for my lifetime. I may have no gums by the time I'm old enough to take tours to casinos with my assisted living friends, but at least I'll be easily identifiable when they pull my charred remains from the bus.

Also, new DS game: The Legend of Zelda - Spirit Tracks. This is a big deal to me...like a new Queen album or Vonnegut book when Queen was releasing albums and Vonnegut was...alive. I enjoy me some Zelda games, and I expect to enjoy this one.

Did I mention my piss is orange?

Incomplete pass.

My ball. 3rd and 12 on Life's 30.

December 7th - 23-19

My hockey team's winning streak came to an end in Phoenix, where the Coyotes silenced our mighty sticks, 0-2. We seemed to play well, with 29 shots on goal, but couldn't hit the net. I'm not too upset, as five straight wins is certainly good enough, but this was the first of a four game road trip, and I don't want to see us drop them all.

Sophie was pretty bad, so she had to go to bed early. Spoke with Peter Flores for a while, which is cool. Peter is VP of Membership for the Midwest Seahawkers. I've spent maybe 10 to 30 minutes with him face to face, and I regard him as one of my best friends. Is that sad? In fact, four of my five friends (I have five friends...the rest are all just acquaintances) live at least three states away from me in any direction. That could mean either a.) I'm good at maintaining friendships across the miles, or b.) I only like people I don't have to see regularly...or vice versa.

Anyway, that's how this day ends.

Run is stuffed behind the line.

My ball. 2nd and 12 on Life's 30.

December 5th-6th - 23-19

Another Hiner Victory weekend, but let's take this chronologically.

It began with shopping on Saturday. We stopped at the Lodi Outlet Mall, where I bought a new shirt at the Van Heusen store. You wear the Van Heusen shirts? Fine shirts. Manly. Not like those NAMBLA Old Navy shirts or gay Gap ships. I recommend the Van Heusen. Then, it was on to Mansfield for more Christmas gifts for the young Hiners. I think we're done that at this point, although there's talk of getting Sam a drum set and Sophie a guitar. Not sure how that'll work.

Saturday night, then, the Wild played the Predators in Nashville. I was following the score driving home, and we went down early, 0-1. When I checked at home, we were up 2-1 at the first intermission. By the third, we were up 5-1.

Excuse me? A multiple goal lead for the Wild? We needed it, as we hung on for a 5-3 win. Nice to not worry about overtime or the shootout, for a change, and even better considering I was quite certain we'd lose, what with being on the road and putting Josh Harding in at goalie. So, there you go. A five game winning streak, our best since 2007. Take it.

Then, my Seahawks won on Sunday, 20-17. It was a good win, as we pulled out a close one...something we haven't been good at lately.



Wins are only hurting us at this point, but again, you don't want to give division rivals a sense of confidence. I'll take this one.

And finally, I won my fantasy league. Or will win, anyway, thanks to another big day from Brees and a bad day by my opponent (I beat the projected points by four, he fell short by 34). That puts me at 9-4 and tied for first place, and gives me a playoff spot.

The Appletell site was down all weekend. They were trying to migrate to the new owner's server, and it didn't work well at all. Sometimes, visitors saw a "maintenance" page. Sometimes, they saw nothing. That meant a weekend of no work for me, but considering I get paid by the pageviews, and I lost two days of pageviews, I'm not entirely happy about it.

That doesn't prevent us from getting the first down, however.

Six yard pass.

My ball. 1st and 10 on Life's 28.

December 4th - 23-19

This is just getting stupid. The Wild again came from behind in the third, scoring two goals in the final five minutes to force a 4-4 overtime. This one went to the shootout, where the Wild won. That gives us four wins in a row, and we're suddenly not looking that bad. Obviously, our goaltending is an issue, but the offense is looking sharp. Long way to go to gain the ground we need after our horrible start, but there's hope.

Also, I have yet to see a photo taken of an unattractive woman a Minnesota sports event.



The question, though, is what Jack Nicholson and Mike Martz are doing back there.

The kids are good, the wife's good, my dinners are good. I'm enjoying things right now.

Five yard run. Life knows I'm bringing it, but can't stop it.

My ball. 3rd and 2 on Life's 34.

December 3rd - 23-19

Day off from hockey before a busy weekend, so it was an uneventful evening to round out an uneventful day. Sophie kicked Sam in the eye ("On accident!" she repeatedly screamed through her own tears), so that was fun. Kids got quite the bruise under his eye, but it just makes him look badass. Tieraney freaked only slightly. I enjoyed watching it grow. I mean, don't get me wrong...I don't want to see my kids in pain. But I know things like this will happen, and once you're sure no body parts will be lost as a result of the "accident," you may as well use the incident to teach the boy to be tough, right?

Three yard run.

My ball. 2nd and 7 on Life's 39.

December 2nd - 23-19

Whoa! The Wild beat the Predators, which is quit the thing, considering they were nearly 10 point above us going in. Another back and forth battle. Wild up 3-2 after one, tied 3-3 after two, and down 3-4 in the third when Koivu forced OT on a PPG and Backstrom fended a late power play for the Preds. A minute and a half into OT, the newly acquired Andrew Ebbett scored the game winner. That's three wins in a row for the Wild, with the Ducks heading into town on Friday.



Beyond that, I had beans and wieners for supper (we sometimes like to eat what the boy likes to eat). I played a new zombie killing game, because I can't get enough of killing the zombies, apparently. I did Appletell work. In fact, I got my first NAPCO paycheck. No raise in there, but I didn't have much hope. Also found out there'll be no Dynamics Online holiday party this year, which makes sense, considering we just did that river cruise/dinner in October. I hope that money goes to our bonus. I need a new computer.

Life punts to the 49, 7 yard return.

My ball. 1st and 10 on Life's 42.

December 1st - 23-19

Another scare at work today, which turned out to be nothing. Same client who's online stores shut down last month had it happen again, but it wasn't the same issue. The guy who created the identity module made a mistake on his last fix, and it somehow created a new problem one month on. Once I alerted him, he changed some code, and all was good.

Otherwise, I've got nothing but sushi, traffic jams, and a wife who thinks she's the only one who does anything around the house. Perhaps I should set up a "Work I've Done Today" blog so the stuff I do gets noticed. Not sure how I'd relate that to football, though.

Life decides to run a draw to give their punter room, and is hoping their defense can come up big.

Life's ball. 4th and 13 on their own 9.

November 30th - 23-19

Sam has to go to the eye doctor. We think he has the lazy eye. He's becoming our Brett. Brett was the Hiner boy who, because of his countless minor medical issues (ear tubes, braces, jaw surgery, etc.) ensured the Family von Hiner never got to go on vacation or own a pontoon boat. That's Sam's duty now. Perpetual ear operations, vision issues now, and who knows what else. I'm not mad at the kid, of course. This goes with the job. It's all cool. But then there comes Tieraney, who wants another one of these things.

How much money will lose on that one?

Me? I just want one championship. I don't care if it's Seattle or Minnesota, I want to know what it's like to root for a champion at least once in my lifetime.

Beyond all this nonesense, Monday was just the day that was. I did get a ridiculous come-from-behind win in my fantasy league, though, pushing me to sole possession of second place. If I win one of the last two, I'm definitely in the playoffs. If either of two other teams loses at least one, I'm in. If I win next week, I'm tied for first. Good times.

And it's enough to bat down a pass at the line of scrimmage.

Life's ball. 3rd and 17 on their own 5.

November 28th-29th - 23-19

Solid weekend for Hiner. It began with my hockey team beating Colorado again (this time on their ice), 3-2 in a shootout. Two things of note. 1.) We haven't been good in the shootout, so that's a plus. 2.) We were down 0-2 at the end of one, but our backup goalie held them scoreless the rest of the way (including deflecting both their shootout chances) to seal the win. Colorado's a good team, too, so sweeping them is kind of big for us.

Then, my Seahawks won. It was against the Rams, so not a big deal (we've now won ten in a row against them), but I'll take it. I'd still rather have the draft pick with the losses, but this was the annual Midwest Seahawkers event, so I'm pleased they won it for the guys who went to St. Louis.



Bigger news than all of this, though, is that my daughter turned six. We had a birthday party for her on Saturday at the inflatable bouncy thing place, which went over very well. A million kids running around (cousins as well as friends from school), but it was all contained and managed by cute high school girls. I just had to stand there...although I did my own share of bouncing, I should point out. Sophie had a great time.

Sunday was her actual birthday, but we just celebrated with a trip to McDonald's (her choice, but I didn't mind the price) and some more gifts. It was a good day. Got the interior decorated for Christmas, too. It's a good time of year. Better if my football team is in the running, but considering it's my first in a couple where I'm only worried about paying one mortgage, I'm happier this year than I have been.

And that's a sack on what I figured to be a pass play with only five minutes to go and life deep in their own territory.

Life's ball. 2nd and 17 on their own 5.

November 27th - 23-19

Wild win. Would've been a fun game to watch, were I ever afforded the ability to watch. Scoring went back and forth throughout the first and second, but the Wild took a 4-3 lead in the third over the Avalanche in what appears to be a traditional Black Friday afternoon game, then iced with an empty net goal to win 5-3. Chuck Kobasew got his second career hat track with the empty netter, and I'm pretty sure that's the first hat trick for a Wild player all season.



Otherwise, a decent enough Friday. Seeing that it was Black Friday, there were few clients calling, and fewer people on the roads. I was supposed to be at the office all day by myself, but my boss came in. Too bad. I enjoy playing the music at work, and I have to use headphones when I'm not alone, obviously. But it was a good day.

And when you're out looking for a Christmas album, you could do worse than Billy Idol's. It's surprisingly low-key and entertaining. Good job by Billy, who was willing to let the songs be what they are, instead of turning them into Billy Idol songs.

Punter kicks it deep and out of bounds inside the 20.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 12.

November 26th - 23-19

Decent Thanksgiving. We drove to Ashland to eat with my parents and my brother Brett's family. Matt and Krista were both with their in-laws, and we never have Thanksgiving with Tieraney's family unless mine isn't around. Such is the policy: Thanksgiving with Hiners, Christmas with Pattersons. I should point out now, though, that the Turkey Bowl will again this year be the Saturday after Christmas, instead of after Thanksgiving. Easier to get people then.

Spent a ridiculous amount of time after getting home putting together the Appletell Black Friday articles. This is a big deal for us...plenty of visits on those things, so I had to throw it all together. Couldn't expect my writers to work on Thanksgiving, after all...well, except for the British and Canadian ones. Don't know what their excuse was. Anyway, I'm hoping they'll get us plenty of pageviews, as I want to get back above 200,000 for the month. We were only at just below 170,000 this morning, so I need to quickly make up some ground.



Tieraney's off on "Black Friday." She's taking the kids to Ashland again so her dad can watch them while the Patterson women go see the New Moon movie. I'll be at work, thanking the Good Lord above that I'm not watching the New Moon movie. I prefer for my movies to absence of gay in them.

Four yard run.

My ball. 4th and 3 on my own 42.

November 25th - 23-19

Hockey team lost a shootout. We suck at the shootout this year. Don't score goals, and can't stop goals. That's a combination that doesn't bode well for shootouts. It's unfortunate, too, because we outplayed the Bruins quite handily throughout. Lost 1-2, and their only regulation goal was on their first damn shot of the game. Shut them down after that, but for naught. Well, not completely for naught. We do get one point out of it.

Worked from home, as Sophie was off from school. Our neighbor could have watched her, but why spend the $25 if we don't need to? She's off Friday, too, when Tieraney will be home with her. It was a good day. I was able to get my work done after introducing Sophie to the Lite Brite. I like the Lite Brite. It's bright. Know why?

Car appointment today, too. Bought that damn thin in April, and I'm already up to my 15,000 mile service. I need to find a job closer to Mogadore. Ran me just under $100 with my 15% off coupon. Woman wouldn't acknowledge the coupon over the phone, so I had to make Tieraney leave work early so we could get there before closing and I could present the coupon in person. I told her I'd take a picture of the thing and e-mail it to her, but that wouldn't fly. What are computers for, if not saving me 15%?

Oh yes. Porn.

Run is stuffed after a short gain.

My ball. 3rd and 7 on my own 38.

November 24th - 23-19

No hockey, no major events, nothing at work, and nothing at home. Nothing to report.

Except that Rory (Clingerman) LeVan found me on Facebook and asked to be my friend. She's good people, that Rory, as is her husband. My first post on her site solicited this response: "Your humor never ceases to amaze me."

Damn right.

One yard run.

My ball. 2nd and 9 on my own 35.

November 23rd - 23-19

Thought I had a three way tie for first place in my fantasy football league, but it wasn't to be. One of the fellows had Matt Schaub at QB, and that got him 35 points, which gave him the win over his opponent. So, at 7-4, I'm in a two way tie for second. I play the first place guy in two weeks; final game of the year. I'm nervous about my lineup, so it's time to start making strategic decisions. I have to look at team matchups to decide to who draft and who to cut at this point.

Decent enough night. Caught up on the TV shows with my wife. Played some games. Goofed around with the kids. You know...family shit.

Three yard run.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 34.

November 21st-22nd - 23-19

No hockey this weekend to save me (or pile on the pain) from a drubbing at the hands of the Vikings. I told Vallos' aunt in church when she asked if we'd win, "We'll be lucky if we lose by less than 30."

And we did. Go team! Pride! Hit! Desire!

I want a new QB next year. Perhaps round two. Round one QBs make me nervous. I want a round one RB and round one offensive lineman. Hopefully left tackle if there's one there who's good enough. After that, I'm not expert enough to care.

Put up the Christmas lights on Sunday, although I won't turn them on yet. I normally handle all of this the weekend after Thanksgiving, but the weather was too nice this weekend to pass up. Last year, it was snowy and below freezing when I did it. This year, partly sunny and 50. Plus, next weekend is Sophie's sixth birthday, and we're having a pajama party for her at Pump It Up from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. Big inflatable things. Nothing for us to clean up. Call that a win.

Oh, and I completed my first toilet repair. Replaced the overflow pipe all by own self, which required removing the tank from the base and everything. I'm handy! Sadly, though, not handy enough to fix the lights on the ceiling fan. Still have fan, but no light. I guess if you have to lose one or the other, than went the right way.

The RB finds a hole, but it closes up quickly. Two yard gain (at this point, Seahawk losses are no longer much of a factor).

My ball. 3rd and 2 on my own 31.

November 20th - 23-19

Yea, hockey! Owen Nolan scored two goals--including a sweet play with 1:07 to go--to help the Wild to a 3-2 win at home against the Islanders. Now, the Islanders are about as bad as we are, so it's not fantastic news, but you take that win.



Awesome play by Belanger keeping it in play, too. I've love to see that kind of action more often.

That's pretty much it for Friday news. Tieraney had shows to catch up on, so I played video games. Killed me some zombies and giant frogs before bed. All in all, a good, relaxing day heading into what looks to be a good, relaxing weekend.

Six yard run as we try to take some time off the clock (pointless in this exercise, I know, but we don't want to kill the illusion).

My ball. 2nd and 4 on my own 29.

November 19th - 23-19

Whoa! Penalty saves the day!

Insurance lady says the letter was a mistake. She'd worked this all out before (perhaps I mentioned it here) with the underwriters, and I'm not being dropped. My deductible will be higher, but my monthly payment will actually be lower. So anyway, offsides. I get the play again, and that gives us a first down.

Five yard penalty.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 23.

November 18th - 23-19

Blow, blow, my hockey team blows. Lost to Phoenix in Minnesota, 2-3. We tied it up in the third, but Phoenix pulled back ahead less than a minute later, and we weren't able to get that final goal.

But there's worse. I got a letter from my insurance company stating that they're canceling my auto insurance. Apparently, what with my life of crime and disregard for property, I'm too expensive to cover. Weird. I mean, yeah, a speeding ticket and two accidents in the past two years doesn't look good, but considering I had neither for the 21 years before that, eight of which were with this company, you'd think they'd get that this is not the norm.

So, I left a message with my rep to tell her I also want to cancel Tieraney's auto, our home insurance and our life policies. You want the Hiner package, you gotta take the Hiner, I always say.

On the bright side, new zombie killing game today. I like the zombie killing games, especially when one of the zombie killers is wearing an evening dress.



Video games are so awesome. Why so many zombie games? Because zombies don't tend to write letters to their Congressmen in protest. Why not aliens, then? Because zombies are based on human models, so they're easier to create/animate. Also easy and fair game? Nazis.

Sack. Looks like life will get the ball back in good field position for a late drive.

My ball. 4th and 10 on my own 12.

November 17th - 23-19

Okay, so there were toilet repairs, right? Now, ceiling fan repairs. Turned on the lights, and POP. Lights on, and immediately off. The fan itself still works. No lights, though. The bulbs aren't burnt out, they're just not getting power. The fan and the lights are on different switches, so I'm assuming it's a wiring thing (ceiling fans usually don't have fuses, after all). I will try to solve this myself. Electricity = fun!

Otherwise, my house is solid.

Two yard run.

My ball. 3rd and 4 on my own 18.

November 16th - 23-19

My boss is buying his first HD TV with a Blu-ray player, and he's been seeking my advice. Called me at 7:00 from the store for advice on cables. I'll take the points, as he was right to do so. I know about the technology. I know who needs what, and why. I would've made a crappy salesman.

Toilet repairs. I'm going to do them myself. First time I will have attempted it, but it's just a toilet...how hard can it be? Nothing but mechanical parts, and those can usually be figured out with a few diagrams. And if I fail, I've got two perfectly functional toilets backing me up.

Also, I'm the type of Christian who occasionally likes to sing praises to the Lord, not just ask Him for stuff when I'm need. And so, let me say this.

1. I'm thankful I no longer have to rake leaves. I have only one house now, and the leaves in that house's backyard blow away on their own.
2. Because He sent his Son to Earth, I get to eat the Chex mix 'round Christmastime. People love to make their varying recipes of Chex mix (keep the friggin' Cheerios out, please), and I love to eat it. Ain't no atheist alive can have a handful of Chex mix and not at least think, "Right or wrong, the Christians at least gave us this, and that's not bad."

Unrelated, hot ham and cheese sandwiches last night for supper. Tieraney wanted to microwave them. See what I have to put up with?

Four yard pass.

My ball. 2nd and 6 on my own 16.

November 14th-15th - 23-19

Horrible sports weekend. Mogadore lost the second round of the state playoffs, 7-48. My hockey team lost Sunday afternoon to the Hurricanes, who had previously lost 14 straight. My football team blew a 14 point lead to lose to the Cardinals, 20-31.

So, enough about all that. Went to my boss's kid's Bar Mitzvah party Saturday night. Not the Bar Mitzvah, mind you. That was at 11:30. The party started at 7:00. I wasn't about to spend the whole day in Beachwood, and I didn't want to drive back to Mogadore just to return, and I couldn't line up a babysitter for both events, anyway, so I just went to the party at Whirly Ball. This is a place where you drive bumper cars around and play polo, basically. You've got this scoop and a whiffle ball, and you drive your car around to scoop up the whiffle ball and throw it a backboard. Hit the backboard, and you get two points. Hit the net in the center of the backboard, and you get four. I played two game...won the first, lost the second. It's actually tremendous fun. And although I didn't score many goals, I had plenty of assists. I'm that type of player.

Nothing else to report. No trips this weekend. Oh, but I did hook up the Pioneer A/V tuner I got for review on Friday. Difficult set-up. I'm hoping they'll let me buy it at a discount so I don't have to disconnect it and send it back.

We try to return the kick from within the end zone, and don't get far.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 12.

November 13th - 23-19

Another hockey loss, 1-3 to the Ovechkinless Capitals. Josh Harding in at goal, and he actually had one of his better games of the season, but our offense was dormant. Again.

Otherwise, busy day at work, lazy day at home. I suppose that's the way to do it.

Life considers going for it, but their defense has been doing well, and settles for the three as we approach the midway point of the fourth quarter.

Long field goal attempt is good.

November 12th - 23-16

My hockey team blew a 3-1 lead at the end of 2 to fall 3-4 in a shootout at Tampa Bay. This bothers me, but on the road, I guess I'm happy to at least come away with one point. Three points two games into a four game road trip is stellar for our squad.

Hotel/flight reservations have been made. I booked the executive suite of the Grand Hyatt at Union Square; the two rooms can accommodate all three of us, so it was actually cheaper than getting two individual reservations.



Flying the Continental non-stop again, which pleases me. The bad thing is that it puts me in S.F. at 11:30 a.m. the day before the show, giving me far too much time to kill, and it leaves S.F. at noon on Sunday. I'd rather it be reversed, so I could leave Cleveland later and get back sooner, but so be it.

The good news of all this? It means I have a job with NAPCO at least through February. I mean, they've done nothing to indicate we wouldn't be around, but it's good to get some assurance.

And finally, we had parent/teacher conferences for Sophie last night. She's a good student, we're told...no worries on anything academically. We also learned that she "cracks up" her teacher, and that she's constantly singing. As in when she's asked to put away the books, she'll suddenly start belting out, "Putting away books" with, as Mrs. Eckhart put it, "such a big voice for such a little body." Mrs. Eckhart also praised us because she could tell we're actively participating in Sophie's education and discipline. Seems to me that shouldn't be something that would need praising, but what do I know about modern parenting? I subscribe to no magazines and I have yet to buy anything with the words "Einstein" or "phonics" in the title. Also, I let my kids watch TV. Not FOX news, though. I want them to grow up loving people, not fearing them.

1st down pass is batted down.

Life's ball. 4th and 13 on my 32.

November 11th - 23-16

I'm going to San Francisco again. Got the official word to go ahead and get flight/hotel information. This will be an odd Macworld next February, as Apple won't be there. Smaller, obviously, but will there be any spunk? I'm not sure who'll make the show exciting, and I'm curious to see who can step up, if anyone. I don't have much hope the show will last beyond this year, so it'll be good to be there at the end, I guess.

Plus, my team will be Bill Stiteler and Ed McKell. See what I've done here? I'm like Tim Ruskell or Dick Cheney giving the good jobs to my good friends. Although, actually, they're both qualified. Bill's worked expos with me before, Ed's been to the last 10 in a row, and both of them are great writers. It'll be a good time.

Pass falls incomplete.

Life's ball. 3rd and 13 on my 32.

November 10th - 23-16

My hockey team, for all the complaining I've done, is 4-1 in the last five games. We won 5-2 on Tuesday, which is our first win by more than one goal all year. That last one came with three seconds to go when, get this, we were shorthanded 6 on 3. Two quick penalties left us with a 5 on 3, and Toronto pulled their goalie to add the sixth. That we held them off at the end was pretty amazing. That we scored an empty netter was just luck.



Not sure this means we've turned the corner on the new scheme, but that we're no longer fearing road games is a plus (especially considering we've got three more just ahead).

Regardless, hockey carried the day. Not much else going on. Dinner out the Outback. No games to play, so I actually started to lay out the new play. I've got a new computer program that makes it easy to define the elements you need and lay out the "acts" appropriately, so you see how it develops before you start. That's not my normal way of doing things, but maybe it'll help me stay focused...and I have to review it anyway.

Runner is hit behind the line for a loss of three.

Life's ball. 2nd and 13 on my 32.

November 9th - 23-16

Here's the thing about the health screening for life insurance a week or so ago. I'm good. Cholesterol is higher than it needs to be, but not dangerously. There is no cocaine in my blood. I'm insurable.

My wife? Not so lucky. Apparently, her blood showed too many signs of kidney disease (?!) for the insurance company to feel comfortable, so she has to get more test. I guess this is good, the tests, in case there is something wrong. But seriously? Kidneys? She's 30. Ain't should be nothing wrong with her kidneys. She feels fine. She's not showing the majority of the symptoms, and those that she is showing are symptoms of just being a woman. (Yes, I'm a bit sexist at times, but so what? Women sleep too much, then complain about never having enough time to juggle all the things they've got go do. Why don't men do that? Because while the women are napping, we're practicing our juggling. And by "men" and "women" in this scenario, I mean, some of the men and some of the women I know. Because although I'm sexist, I'm not a completist.

So anyway, she has a doctor's appointment set up, and we'll see what happens there. Not worried yet, but will find out soon enough if I should be.

Life continues to grind out yards, picking up four for the first down.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on my 29.

November 7th-8th - 23-16

Whoa. Successful sports weekend on both sides. As if offering me condolences for missing the concert I wanted to see, the Wild somehow managed to beat the much better Dallas Stars at home, 3-2, and apparently looked very good doing it. We jumped out to an early 2-0 lead, allowed them to come back, but scored the game winner late in the second. My boy, Clutterbuck (only because you have to have a "boy" on each team, so why not the guy who was called "Clusterfuck" all the way through junior high and high school?) got the early goal.

Sunday, the Seahawks fell behind early to a horrible Detroit Lions team, 0-17. First two plays were turnovers, so it looked like the same thing we saw against Arizona. But thankfully, the Lions are so bad that they can easily blow a 17 point lead. We outscored them the rest of the way 32-3, winning 32-20.



Matt had a fantastic game after that early pick...his best in two years. I was surprised, as he generally sucks when we're behind. So, that was good, but we now have three straight road games. I'm certain we will win one (Rams). It's possible we win two (Cardinals). No way we win all three (Vikings).

Otherwise, all I really did this weekend was go to my niece's birthday party. She's 17. I'm not. I'm older than that. Oh, but Sophie got her first report card. Mostly Ss. All the kids get are Ss (satisfactory) and Ns (needs improvement). Her Ns came in exactly what I was expecting: attentiveness, ability to work in a group, that sort of thing. They said she can only count to fourteen, but that's not at all true. She can count up to 100, but she has trouble saying "thirteen." Sounds like "fourteen" when it comes out of her mouth. So, I'm working with her on pronouncing that. Otherwise, it's mostly pretty good.

Downfield pass into double coverage is broken up.

Life's ball. 3rd and 3 on my 33.

November 6th - 23-16

No concert for me. Paul and David decided to play D&D. I tried calling Bryan McQuillan to see if he'd go, but he wasn't up for it on such short notice...although we did end up talking for over two hours. He thanked me for saving his life. Not enough of my friends have thanked me for saving their life. I hope they're all able to do so before it's too late.

I made the pizzaghetti for supper, which I prefer to call spaghizza. Sophie greatly enjoyed it, but she'll enjoy anything with enough parmesan cheese on it. Sam and Tieraney didn't get into it, but I didn't expect them too. Sometimes, Hiner gots to cook for his own self, know what I mean?

Seven yard pass.

Life's ball. 2nd and 3 on my 33.

November 5th - 23-16

The AP report on my hockey team's game against Vancouver said we played "slow and sloppy throughout and showed little fight against a weakened opponent."

2-5 loss at home against the Vancouver Canucks, who were playing without about half of their team. Backstrom was so bad he was pulled at the end of the second. We've got Dallas on Saturday. Seahawks have Detroit Sunday. That's a lot of Ds and a lot of Ss, and that's all the further I want to get into that.

Spoke for quite some time with the Gamertell editor last night, who's curious as to why I'm sending one of my writers to CES in Vegas this January instead of going myself. It's mainly because I'd rather work Macworld in S.F. in February, and don't want to take two weeks off that close together, abandoning my family. But also, Macworld gives me more freedom. CES is huge, and I'd be a writer, there. Not the editor in chief. I'd have people bossing me around, instead of me bossing other people around. I think this should all be pretty obvious.

My chest feels weird.

Life picks up the first down on a draw play. Seriously, a draw play.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on my 40.

November 4th - 23-16

Ends up, Tieraney doesn't want to go the Styx/REO/Night Ranger show this weekend. Kind of sucks, because I want to see it, so she suggested I see it with David Temple. So, I asked David, but that's "game night," which is when he and his buddies drive in to Cleveland to play Dungeons & Dragons. So, I called Paul Gazella (these are both ONU guys, by the way, both STE guys, too, and both in my band here now when we bother to get together). Paul's tempted, but isn't sure it's worth canceling game night. I'm to find out on Friday.

This is my life. Getting shot down for an '80s girlie-man rock show because the only people who'd go see it with me are playing D&D.

Four yard pass out to the flats

Life's ball. 3rd and 4 on my 45.

November 3rd - 23-16

This is going to be a very uneventful week. No hockey until Thursday. Typical work stuffs. I expect no big plays from life, they're just going to keep trying to grind out yards to tie it up.

My wife is pushing for a dish, though, so I guess that's worth talking about. We hadn't done it before due to her fear that it'll drop the signal during one of her shows. But the cable box upstairs crapped out, so it missed a recording. Plus, Time Warner is raising its monthly rate by $10, and increasing the amount we have to pay for each box. If we switch to dish, we'll save $50 a month for a year, then $25 a month after that.

Oh, and my insurance company wanted to drop me. Is that weird? Because of my speeding ticket 2-1/2 years ago, plus my accidents last December and in April, they decided I'm too much of a risk. Never mind the absolutely spotless record from 1991 until 2007, I guess. My agent stuck up for me, though (or so she says), against the underwriters, and managed to keep me on with a higher deductible...which will actually save me money, provided I don't crash again. "I should hope so," I told her. "If I'm forced to switch auto insurance, the home and life insurance go with me." And did you know there's now damage insurance? She wants me to pay even more to cover myself if I'm ever sued for something. What the hell's going on here?

On the bright side, with the help of our freelance developer, I was able to get my clients' online stores back on in their entirety. Killed a day and a half of work, as I don't think we can bill the client for all the time spent, but at least he's happy.

Short run.

Life's ball. 2nd and 8 on their my 49.

November 2nd - 23-16

Not a pleasant day at work. Came in to find out that the identities I'd created for the online store (my year-long project) had all mysteriously disappeared from the web. Everything was gone. If someone cam to the site expecting to see one identity, they saw the default...not good at all. The client was pissed but patient with me, and I spent the whole day working with the guy who did the custom programming to see how we could most easily get them restored. However, there was no easy way to get them restored. My workaround didn't work, either, so the sites were either down or wrong all day. When I went to bed at 11:00, they were still not working properly.

Only solace I can take in this is that it's not at all my fault. I did nothing wrong, but wasn't able to quickly hammer out a solution, which frustrates the hell out of me. Hopefully, better luck tomorrow, or I'll have one really pissed off client to placate.

12 yard pass for an easy first down.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 49.

October 31st-November 1st - 23-16

Behold, great joy! The Wild won a road game! Against stinking Pittsburgh! In regulation! They'd only lost two games all year, and they certainly outplayed us. At the end of one, they had 16 shots on our goal to our 4, but we were up 2-1. At end of the three, SOG was 35 to 15 in their favor, but the score remained. Backstrom was finally back in form, and certainly stole us a win. We're off now until Thursday, so I'll get to bask in this for a while. Feels good, but doesn't allay the frustration of the season thus far.



Trick to Treat Saturday night. It was fun enough. We do this at my brother's house in Cuyahoga Falls. Weather held out, so that was cool, and we had pizza afterwords. Sophie was hard to contain, but I try not to yell at her too much when she's excited about such things. It's a safe night to run around freely, when drivers know to be cautious, so it's cool.

Sunday, however, brought me no joy. Seahawks got pummeled by the Cowboys. I hate when the Cowboys beat anyone, let alone my Seahawks, so, that was bad. Weren't we, like 13-3 just a few years ago? Where did all those players end up? There's talk now of firing Ruskell and bringing in Holmgren as GM next year. I don't see that happening. I think we've got Ruskell for a while, and I don't blame him, anyway. I think fans just like to point the finger at one guy, because replacing one guy is easier than rebuilding an entire team.

QB slips what appears to be a sure sack and scrambles out of bounds for five yards.

Life's ball. 3rd and 5 on their own 37.

October 30th - 23-16

Sophie's Satan's Feast Day parade was today. They were let out of school at noon, but had to back by 1:00 in costume. This is the whole grade school, mind you. K-6. All of the kids dressed up in costume, and were lumped into either the gym or the "multi-purpose room," which we used to call the cafeteria. Parents lined the hallways, and the kids paraded around in costume, led by some drummers and girls carrying tubas without every playing them. I was unmoved, but oh, how the parents who care about such things loved it. They filmed it, took photos, smiled. I played Pandorum on my iPhone. Of course, I waved at Sophie, but I really have no interest in what other kids are doing for Halloween.

And then, wonders of wonders, my hockey team won. 3-2 over the Rangers. Get this...in regulation! It was supposed to be the return of Marion Gaborick, whom we traded to New York this year. But, Gabby was injured (which is why we traded him), so the drama was gone. Know what? I don't care.



Pass over the middle is batted down at the line.

Life's ball. 2nd and 10 on their own 32.

October 29th - 23-16

Thursdays are, for the most part, the most uneventful days of my week. That'll change next spring when there's hockey on Thursdays on a regular basis, but guess what? There will be no 4th and 2009 next year. This experiment will be over. We must all move on.

Bought a new Wii game. "Dead Space Extraction." That is a great title. I don't know what it means, entirely, but it's great.

Punt.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 32.

October 28th - 23-16

So, the home winning streak ends. The Wild lose to one of the other worst teams in the NHL, the Predators, at home. Down 0-2 in the second, we scored 3 goals in 1:47 to take the lead, then got shut down for the rest of the game, losing 3-4. Now we suck all over the country, so this season is done. I don't mind rebuilding years, and I like draft picks, but do I really need to have both of teams blow in the same year?

I consciously made these decisions. I have no loyalty to Seattle or Minnesota. Why the hell didn't I pick the Red Wings or the Patriots? Who purposely brings this misery upon himself?

Hiner do. That's who. Hiner do.

On the home front, today was Sammy's trick-or-treat at day care, which basically means he goes from room to room in a costume and gets candy from the workers. He's dressed as Wolverine. That yellow guy, not the kids from "Red Dawn." I tried to convince Tieraney to let them go as John and John from They Might Be Giants. "No one will know who they are," she said.

"So, no one knew who Bryan McQuillan and I were when we went to a party as Bourgeois Tagg."

"Who are Bourgeois Tagg?"

"See? Easy costume."



Can't recall if I was Brent or Larry.

Incomplete pass.

My ball. 4th and 13 on my own 25.

October 27th - 23-16

Worked from home to take care of the boy, who of course wasn't at all sick. Managed to get things done, though, despite tending to him all day. Sophie's easier to manage when I'm working at home, but that's expected. Age and all.

Little else going on. Not even any games to play. Appletell work takes up the bulk of my free time, so I guess it's not really free.

Incomplete pass.

My ball. 3rd and 13 on my own 25.

October 26th - 23-16

Tieraney had to pick up the boy from daycare today. Fussy, and complaining about his ears. So, she took him to the ear doctor, where he threw up. Better there than in the car or in my house, I say. He's on antibiotics...expensive ones. Better work. Threw up a few more times at home, but in a bucket. It's a pleasant day when you realize your kids are old enough to hit the bucket or the toilet.

My hockey team was on the TV channel, where I got to watch them suck to a 1-3 loss. Seriously, I'm not the most intelligent hockey fan out there, so when I can see all the things they're doing wrong, you know they're looking terrible. This is a bad, bad team with a new coach who's clueless on how to make things work. Long season of football and hockey for me. I wish I knew how to just take a year off.

Run is stuff for a three yard loss.

My ball. 2nd and 13 on my own 25.

October 24th-25th - 23-16

Spoke too soon about my hockey team, but I will continue to do so (defense mechanism, don't you know). We won 3-2, again after regulation. Three home wins, all post regulation. All road losses in regulation. Sure would like to squeeze a point out of one or two of those.

No football, so the weekend belonged to the theaters. Saw "Whip It" Saturday afternoon with Tieraney. It was enjoyable enough. I like that Ellen Page, and I like women in fishnets bruising each other's buttocks. Could've been better, but what am I going to do? Rag on Drew Barrymore? I can't do that when this guy I know once had sex with her (pre comeback years, he says).



Sunday, then, we took the kids to see Astro Boy. It was Sam's first movie theater trip, and he didn't really do all that well. Wouldn't sit still, wouldn't keep quiet...not as good as Sophie did with her first movie. But the movie did kind of suck, so I'm not too upset with him.

And that'll do it.

Kickoff returned 25 yards from the 3.

My ball. 1st and 10 on my own 28.

October 23rd - 23-16

Got home last night to find out that Tieraney was going out for drinks with her coworkers. So, she's become that person. Next up, sitting at a table at Applebee's with a group of women drinking margaritas and bitching about their husbands while they're out golfing. Only I won't be out golfing. I'll be at home. She said she'd be home by eight, to which I replied, "Okay, see you at 11:00." She came in at 11:05. See? We should be on the Newlywed Game. Only I don't think we qualify anymore.

Anyway, decent evening with the kids, the video games until bedtime. My hockey team blew in St. Louis, though, losing 1-3. We're back home again Saturday night, where we're undefeated! I expect that'll end now. We're playing Carolina, 2-5, but they've lost those five in a row. It's against my teams that streaks like that end.

Life makes the 51 yarder to bring them within 7 early in the fourth.

Life's ball. 51 yard field goal is good.

October 22nd - 23-13

Ate pancakes and eggs for supper.

Now, here's the dork in me. I was debating between going to see OK Go or Ace Frehley in November. OK Go is obviously the far better band, but my brother and I would've had a good time at Ace's show with all the Guitar Center rejects and KISS Army cast-offs. But OK Go is on a Friday night, and Ace a Wednesday. So, what to do?

Go see Styx and REO Speedwagon instead. Why? Because it's a Saturday night, it's in Youngstown (closer to us than Cleveland and easier to navigate) and because friggin' Night Ranger is opening. Styx, REO and Night Ranger? That's, like, my girlie rock dream show. Years of teen angst wrapped up into a night of goofy '70s prog and crappy (but lovable) '80s power ballads. Yes, I will take my wife to that show, and we shall hold a fist in the air as the bands sing about the plight of the blue collar man trying to find love.



Know where you can still rock? In America!

Life calls timeout to debate what to do here, punt or try the 51 yard field goal.

Life's ball. 4th and 4 at my 34.

October 21st - 23-13

My God, finally. Wild won at home last night, 3-2, after dropping five straight on the road. We were down 1-2 at the end of two, but newly appointed captain Miko Koivu scored with about four minutes left to force overtime. We then went to the shootout, where the only goal scored was again by Koivu. El capitan!



There was still a lot of blowing going on, we were outshot in the second period something like 4 to 17, but I'll take the win.

And don't those green jerseys look snappy? I'll be placing an order soon. But dag, hockey jerseys are expensive. You want an authentic with numbers and a name and a captain or alternate designation, you're paying nearly $400. Fuck you, Reebok.

Editor-in-chief at our sister site, Gadgetell, gave his two weeks. Not sure how this affects me. Likely, it won't at all. But maybe, just maybe, the NAPCO guys see this as a warning, and they offer me and the Gamertell fellow retention bonuses, which the Dabbledoo boys recommended from the start. That will pay for a hockey jersey, I should think.

Pass for the first down is well covered.

Life's ball. 4th and 4 at my 34.

October 20th - 23-13

The answer is "yes." Horror is scarier when you're the one with the flashlight. Well, still not scary, but the "startles" (different from being scared, mind you) are more effective. Weird game, that Ju-On, and I'm looking forwarding getting deeper into it to see if a game with no real point other than to frighten you can be worth $40.

Got some good news on the Seahawks front. Seems that Lofa Tatupu's injury may not be season ending. He could be back within a few weeks. It still won't make a difference, but even during down years you want to see your best players on the field.

I've learned that tacos are the one food item that consistently tastes better at home than at restaurants. I wonder why that is...and i wonder why I don't make tacos at home more often.

Two big changes in the works. First, I bought EA Sports Active thing for the Wii. I'm now working out about half an hour a day, doing the strength/cardio thing to get in shape for the cruise come June. This is painful. I'm going to find the man who invented the alternating lunge jump, and kick him in the head...once I'm able to move my legs again, anyway.

Two, Rogaine. It's true. Why? I have no idea at all. It was $15 off at CVS over the weekend, so I thought, "What the hell?" I've got the hair now, no buzz-cut, but I've got a dent up on top. Let's see if the dent can get filled in. If not, no big deal. I'll just go back to the buzz cut. If it does grow back...well, I have no desire to buy Rogaine for the rest of my life, so I'll likely still get the buzz cut. But it's an experiment nonetheless.

4 yard pass.

Life's ball. 3rd and 4 at my 34.

October 19th - 23-13

No football or hockey today to drag me down, just work. Not that work drags me down, of course. It doesn't. It's just work. You do it. Like riding the subway in New York. Not a pleasant experience. Crowded and hot and smells like piss. But you do it.

Got another Wii game for review. "Ju-On: The Grudge." This one's interesting, as it's not a game. It's a haunted house simulator. There's no combat and no real goal of which to speak. Rather, you just walk around haunted locations with a flashlight and get the bejeezus scared out of you. Now, I don't scared during movies. It's too easy for me to separate myself from images on the wall to be frightened by them. But will that change if I'm actively participating in the images? Let's see.



2 yard run.

Life's ball. 2nd and 8 at my 38.

October 17th-18th - 23-13

There you go. 0-5 on the road trip. We lost to Vancouver 1-2. Something like 17 shots on goal. Defense played well for the first time, I've read, but the offense wasn't there. It's going to be a long season. Likely even longer than that of the Seahawks, how looked absolutely terrible against the Cardinals in a 3-27 loss. Tatupu's out for the year, but who cares? He's been average at best for the past two season. Losing him does nothing to make us worse than we already are.

What sucks is that Hass is done. I'm ready to admit he's been overrated, and hasn't done much of anything without Zorn and Holmgren to tell him what to do. Oh, yeah, he's fine when there's absolutely no pressure and he's not losing. But our o-line isn't good enough to keep pressure off of him, so expect plenty of sacks because he holds the ball to long, and expect plenty of dumb decisions and picks because he tries to force things. He's done nothing in the past three seasons to indicate he can lead this team through any sort of adversity, so call it a season...and a career. The Seahawks are 6-10 at best this year, but I'm expecting closer to 5-11.

Saturday, Tieraney and I bought life insurance. Figured it was time, seeing that we've got the cruise coming in June. We'll have to cut back quite a bit to afford it, but honestly, we've got so much debt right now that a death to either one of us would be catastrophic to the kids. Now, we're covered. I'm officially worth more to my family dead than I am alive, so should something happen, assume that one of those made for Lifetime channel movies is playing out, and call the authorities.

18 yard pass completion.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 at my 40.

October 16th - 23-13

Good day. Because of one of those inservice things, Sophie had the day off from school. So, Tieraney and I took the day off, and we drove to stinking Pittsburgh so the kids could see the bones. The Carnegie Museum of Natural History has a rather impressive display, so that was our day. Kind of fun, although the kids did get a bit rambunctious towards the end of it all. Also, I had to be on a conference call with NAPCO at 2:00, so I became that dad who takes his kids places but does work while there. Yea me!

The museum was okay, but not worth another trip back to stinking Pittsburgh, which really is quite an ugly city. I'm not just saying that because it's stinking, but because it really is quite ugly. Like Youngstown, only bigger and more depressing.

My kids didn't seem to mind, though.



Upon getting home, we got the kids in bed and caught up on TV. Report card: "The Office" = wildly unfunny. "Parks and Recreation" = disappointing, but only because last week was so great. "Community" = best of the week; I'm a legit fan of this show now. "30 Rock" = bad premiere, but I expect it'll pick up. Enough moments for me to not lose hope this early.

Oh, and my suckwad hockey team keeps on sucking wads. Lost in Edmonton 2-5. If we don't beat Vancouver Saturday night, we'll have gone 0-5 on the first road trip of the season. Yea!

40 yard punt. Fair catch.

Life's ball. 1st and 10 on their own 42.

October 15th - 23-13

Per the usual Thursday, nothing to report.

Although, why did I not know there was going to be a sixth book in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy? Perhaps because its author is dead? But here it is, "And Another Thing..." by Eoin Colfer. Not sure how I feel about this. One on hand, a Hitchhiker's book by anyone other than Douglas Adams just seems wrong. On the other hand, it can't be worse than "Mostly Harmless," so I'll give it a shot. I like the characters, and I like the universe, so why not see what someone else can do with them? If it sucks, who cares?

Incomplete pass.

4th and 10 at my own 18.

October 14th - 23-13

Oh, Lordy, my hockey team blows. Lost 2-3 to Anaheim last night, but it wasn't that close. We scored with about 6 seconds left in the game with Backstrom pulled to get our second. That's 1-4, bottom of the division, and bottom three in the league. I'm not certain, but it's possible we're already out of playoff contention.

But I wasn't following it, so I didn't have to deal with it live. Rather, I was on a boat. We had a company outing last night on the Nautica Queen in Cleveland, which was basically a cold, dark cruise on the Cuyahoga River, complete with dinner and bad music. I ate, then spent practically the entire evening on the deck, watching the lights go by.



Families were invited, but it was a school night and we couldn't find a babysitter, so Tieraney stayed home with the kids. Too bad. I tend to enjoy such events more if Tieraney's there to help me make fun of everyone.

In the morning, I took Sam to the ear doctor. One of his tubes is out, the other is getting there. We have another appointment set up for December, and if he remains clear, we may finally be done with these tubes. That would please me. Ear operations are expensive.

End run out of bounds for no gain.

3rd and 10 at my own 18.